Taksim Nakriz with analysis ?

Hello everyone

I can hear really nice pieces of music here and I feel really clumsy with my oud...

Anyway, I'm learning by myself and this forum is really useful for me, I tried to analize this Taksim :

http://www.mikeouds.com/audio/real/george_abyad_nakriz.rm

Here it is my analisis :

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xaedo1_taksim-nakriz_music

If it's totally wrong, tell me, I would quite... If it's not, could you show me my mistakes ?

Thanks !

PS sorry I didn't expect Dailymotion would cut the left border of the video

Thanks mrkmni !

To be honest I prefer Sombati's takasim but I started to work on Abyad's one before I get the CD "Oud The Breath Of Arabian Music" in other words the takasim by Riad El Sombati. By the way, this is not so bad because I train myself on rhythms with George Abyad and what I hear perfectly matches with Marcus Scott Lloyd thesis. I found the word Ghammaz there, if I remember well it means something like a wink to seduce somebody and the equivalent in music is "dominant" (but it could be the 3rd, the 4th or the 5th). Tarz Jadid means something like "brand new"... Does it sound like Hebrew for you ?

What do you mean by "to master the pick upside" ? Should I improve the way back with the risha, is it what you mean ?

I hope you'll record yourself on every sombati's takasim, because I'll walk on your path when I'll be done with Abyad